Celebrity Thanatopsis 2009

Jett Travolta, son of John,
Briefly lasted, now he's gone
Another whom passed was Pat Hingle,
Was Commissioner Gordon--wasn't single
At Bob Wilkins' funeral, I asked the preachers,
They told me he hosted and made Creature Features
Khan is gone, Khan is gone,
We all miss you Montalban
Old man Bob May'll
Always be known
As the Lost in Space robot
Whose arms would wildly flail
John Updike, wrote his Rabbit,
Smoking is a nasty habit
James Whitmore gained no exemption,
Acting in The Relic and Shawshank Redemption
Robert Quarry need not tarry,
He played Count Yorga, no need to bury
Robet Bruce, my duckies, is in disarray,
Sudden death from short illness took him away
Sydney Earle Chaplin, kid of The Kid,
Dunno quite how he died, but he did
Andrw "Test" Martin, member of TnA,
Oxycodone in his system on his death day
Natasha Richardson, Neeson's wife,
Brain damage from skiing ended her life
Moultri Patten died quite old,
Northern Exposure was filmed out in the cold
Andy Hallet whom playd Angel's Lorne,
An actor and singer we all did mourn
Lou Perryman, seen by horror viewers,
Sadly art took his life, killed by skewers
Marilyn Chambers, had an aneurism,
But she made her money off voyeurism
Horton Foote, according to word,
Wrote the screenplay "To Kill a Mocking Bird"
Beatrice Arthur, the banner unfurls,
Actress in the Golden Girls
Danny Gans, played the Vegas scene,
Sadly dead due to over-Morphine
Jolly old Dom Deluise,
I know yer in Heaven, watch out for fleas
Stephen Bruton's throat got outta whack,
Played guitar with Willie and The Man in Black
Wayne Allwine, gosh, he'll be swell and fine,
Voiced Mickey Mouse from seventy-seven to zero-nine
Exodus Tyson felt the pain,
Heaven's gates were her gain
Millvina Dean, is gone but don't panic,
She was the last survivor of the Titanic
David Carradine, actor from Kung Fu,
Tied a knot he couldn't undo
Shih Kien was put to rest,
Co-starred with Bruce Lee,
One of the best
Ed McMahon, one of a quartet,
Fawcett, Jackson, and Mays,
Completed the set
Karl Malden's bullet was bit,
Remember, "don't leave home without it."
Allen Klein, a "bastard" who could book,
The Beatles, the Stones, but first Sam Cooke
Robert McNamara, one of the better government guys,
Secretary of Defense, invented "policy analyze"
Oscar G. Mayer Jr. took a paddle-less raft,
His namesake belongs to food company Kraft
Walter Cronkite, trusted man and witness,
Best damn journalist in the business
Henry Allingham, WW I survivor,
Gave the enemy a proper spank,
Four men left now,
Only one a Yank
You Can't Do That On Television lost Les Lye,
Sad, we know, I wonder why
John Hughes, 80's teen flick genius,
Ignoring you, I'd be remiss
Eunice Kennedy Shriver, JFK's sister,
Helped start the Special Olympics,
Daughter married the Governator
I just have to say Mr. Les Paul,
No guitar of yours is a brick in the wall
Ted Kennedy died twice last year,
The Teeder on the ice,
The Senator in his beer
Don Hewitt, to wit
Created 60 Minutes, quite a hit
Dominick Dunne, wrote in Vanity Fair,
Covered "celebrity justice" with flair
Patrick Swayze, this just ain't gravy,
No one puts the corner by baby
Henry Gibson, could do a jig,
Known for voicing "some pig"
Mary Travers has left us all,
Now they're only Peter and Paul
Lucy Vodden is not with us,
She's In the Sky with Diamonds,
For once, because of lupus
Lou Albano, a man of show,
Wrestler, manager, and Mario
Soupy Sales, had a comedic money scam,
Use Monopoly cash to fly on Pan Am
Don Ivan Punchatz drew for Id,
Despite drawing for Doom,
Satan was outbid
Leland P. Cook Jr, down the other funnel,
Deserves Hell, damn that Turbo Tunnel
Ken Ober's death took a toll,
He was the host of Remote Control
Without Lasseter,
Disney almost fell,
I'll tell you why,
R-O-Y-E.-D-I-S-N-E-AND-Y
Dan O'Bannon, good among script writers,
Developed xenomorphs and undead shamblers
Brittany Murphy quickly fell,
I asked Luanne why, but she'll never tell
Kim Peek, definately definately Kim Peek,
Inspired Raymond from "Rain Man", hardly meek